In the upcoming film “Two Lovers,” a young, troubled man (Joaquin Phoenix) moves home in order to deal with a recent breakup, but the move finds him drawn towards not one but two women: An energetic, beautiful neighbor (Gwyneth Paltrow) and a friend-of-the-family’s sweet daughter (Vinessa Shaw).

Who HASN’T been torn between two (or more!) lovers? Oh, sorting out which one to take to a movie preview- it’s pure torture I tell you! Why, just the other day I was saying to one of my suitors, “Jude Law, I know you are madly in love with me and you are a fabulous movie star, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to take you to this movie premiere. I may have to take my other lover, Brad Pitt, who is equally in love with me.” True story.*

Well, difficulties like that aside, the film examines this problem through the eyes of Phoenix, who oddly enough recently announced he is retiring from acting to become a rapper.**

Tonight (Tues. Feb. 24) at 7:30 at the Mayan Theatre, Denverites can catch a sneak preview of the movie before it hits theatres on the 27th. Go here to inquire about screening passes. Looks like you can only get 2 passes a piece, so you might not be able to stage a hilarious “Two-Dates-To-A-Movie” farce a’la Steve Urkle or some other sitcom plotline. And I will have to figure out what to do with my many famous movie star boyfriends. Sigh! I guess I’ll just have to scrap them both and go with my THIRD lover, who’s name rhymes with “Beorge Flooney.”

*Not a true story.
** True story.